http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJje5T2lNws&NR=1Ed Wardle's solitary journey to the Yukon Wilderness of Canada, was a fascinating documentary recently aired on Channel 4.
Well prepared in survival skills, Ed's boyhood dream became a reality, when in the summer of 2009, he was left alone, with a few basic supplies, and the desire to live and survive, amidst the beauty and harshness of nature, totally alone.
Using his own camera, Ed filmed himself, building shelter, providing warmth, and hunting and fishing for food.
The skinning and gutting of a porcupine, was an exercise in itself, on what we would have to do, were we faced with the choice of survival, without the convenience of a local supermarket, and money.
Watching Ed Wardle, one could not help warming to him and identifying with his childhood dream. But when the plane dropped him off, and then took off into the distance, the sense of isolation was suddenly overpowering. It continued to grow over the coming weeks. Joy turned to darkness.
Living with the constant fear of bears, the slightest movement became magnified. Darkness and nightfall, often saw him catching naps through extreme tiredness, when his heightened awareness succombed. Moments of pure delight, such as the beauty of the landscape, the swimming in the clear lakes, and the warmth and satisfaction of the campfire, were often tinged with great fear. He became tired and weak, through lack of food and sleep. But this was not the killer.
Over time, Ed became aware how much he missed human contact. The pain, played with, and tormented his brain. You could watch thoughts attacking him.
Watching this programme, I thought often, of the simple exercise of prayer. The periods of being still. But most importantly of all, of the objectivity of thoughts. Neither believing or disbelieving good or bad thoughts. Just merely observing them., and dealing with the present moment amid the truth that that presented. I thought of the awareness of our emotions, and how they can use us, and weaken us, when we are not fully aware.
So, there was times I was dissapointed, with a sigh of despair, when I listened to Ed's preparedness in dealing with the mind.
Prior to the trip a psychologist had taught him the benefits of meditation. It was a little light, until I heard that the meditation consisted of him going to a happy place in his mind. An image, An Illusion. He was already in the most beautiful place in the world. Then there was the writing of empowering statements on his arm. In bold black ink he wrote. Be Strong.
It was not long before Ed realized that neither worked. A defining moment, which takes many years to realize for some.
Finaly he decided to pray. The moment he did, he heard his girlfriends voice talking to him as though on a phone. It was so unfortunate that he found this to be his happy place. Yet understandable when you are aware of the pull of the mind to keep us away from the genuine prayer from the heart to God.
And so, it was not long after, Ed sent out his SOS to mankind, and the plane returned to carry him home. In many ways, I thought it was the right thing to do, rather than submit oneself to such mental and physical torture.
In summary, I admired Ed for his exercise and desire in survival. He was prepared to a high degree of self sufficiently and love of natural wilderness, but lacked the one fundamental component.
I likened his journey to Christ's journey of 40 days into the wilderness, but I doubt he made this comparison. He listened to his thoughts and he listened to the tempts. The intensity of the aloneness was something even Christ struggled with.
Terry Waite has described his own solitary confinement in an interesting article concerning the trip Alone in the Wild.
Terry Waite was taken hostage in Lebanon by Islamic Jihad in January 1987 and held captive for nearly five years, four of these in total solitary confinement, before he was released in November 1991.
He quotes:
'Solitude is certainly nothing to be afraid of. I think in fact we do need a degree of solitude and opportunity of having our own space. Having said that, people often say that they require it, but when they get into it they can't bear it. Because you have to equip yourself to grow into solitude, to gain the benefits from it. So first of all there are dangers. Going into solitude in some ways you are taking an interior journey, rather than an exterior journey, because it will encourage you to be introspective. And you discover that along with all human beings that you are a composite mixture of both light and dark. The secret of course is somehow being able to find that degree of inner harmony and balance which you have to grow into.'
I would say further from the above that it takes a long time for darkness to be completely dispelled from that mixture of both light and dark that we are made up of. But ultimately light dispells the darkness.
Being in a middle ground of objectively, and being aware of the battle between darkness and light in the mind is not an easy place to stand in. It becomes a torment if you listen to either. And this is waht happened to Ed Wardle.
Being prepared involves much more than physical sterngth and survivalist skills. To ultimately survive, it appears there needs to be a strong inner connection with the Creator, and a recognition we lack spiritual strength without his help.
